For our family it is a bittersweet day this year October 10 as it also marks the day the day we burred one of my sister who passed away in 1999. But it does give me time on this weekend to reflect and be blessed with comfort to have had one of the most caring and thoughtful family members in my life, even though she was taken far too soon from our lives at the age of 42.
When she was ill I would spend as much time with her, going over cooking meals. Taking care of her boys to give her a break and to keep their lives as normal as possible. They have forgotten or were too young to remember all the time I spent with them and that is okay with me too. I have not forgotten and that is what keeps me happy knowing I helped my sister in her time of need. She unfortunately had a husband whom was absent most of the time especially once she was ill. That happens much more then people realize when someone they love is sick and especially when you have a terminal illness. Many people would see that as heartless but living now myself with a chronic incurable illness (unless you are lucky enough to be able to try a stem cell transplant) I see the toll it take and how strong a person has to be to take care of the person that they had vowed to love both in sickness and in health. Those are just words one utters when getting married but the true test comes when illness hits. For me I am lucky to have a husband who truly does take care of me, and took those vows and all they meant to heart.
Thanksgiving Day is also a time where most families get together mine no longer talks much to my husband and I. They don't fully care to understand my illness and how a normal life is out of my reach these days no matter how hard I try. Although some of them joined together yesterday to enjoy the usual holiday feast we were not invited. You may think I am bitter or am writing this because I am but you would be surprised to know I am not. I actually feel grateful for them showing me the type of people I am happy to know we are not.
I am also grateful that on this day I am able to write as it has been a long time since I have felt well enough to sit long enough to do so. I read so often that in order to keep an audience engaged in your blog you should post often. My condition or anyone who has Stiff Person Syndrome will tell you that that is an impossible request. Unlike most conditions we don't have the luxury of having "good days". That is the cruelness of this condition that so few understand including doctors. We have a few good hours if we are lucky but days? I could not tell you the last time I had a good day as it is so far out of my memory I can not pull it from the corners of my mind.
I will try and write more often but I cannot make any promises, but to those who do engage and read I wish to thank you. And if you are in Canada may you be blessed with wonderful friends and family who stick by your side, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving Weekend.
And on this holiday weekend and in memory of a beautiful soul thank you for being a part of my life for the short time we had together.
