Happy Anniversary My Love

Today is my anniversary, four years ago I married my best friend.  Chris and I have been friends since my late 20's and I always valued his friendship and what's even more wonderful today then back then I get to be blessed by his presence in my life each and every day.

My friends have regrets and show such hatred at times towards their ex-husband's/ex-wife's but I don't, had it not been for him I would not have met some of the best people who now bless me in my life and through them is also how I met Chris so how can I hate someone for that gift?

Unfortunately my 1st marriage did not work out and that is okay.  I hold no animosity at least not anymore he unlike the marriage we had, showed me what being in a supportive and unconditional relationship should be like the one I have now.  Another one of  life's lesson is how I reflect on those years and other should do the same I think, let the hatred and hurt feelings go. You did for whatever reason at that time in your life love and cared for that person or you would not have married them, had children with them (if you had children) or have tried to build a life with them.

As for my ex-husband he opened the door for my life lesson I now enjoy...laughter, happiness, enjoying the presence of just being in each others company. One who would never turn their back on our marriage no matter what life throws our way, and I would do the same for Chris.

I had a friend many years ago when my marriage ended and Chris and I started dating ask me...does it not concern you he does not have a house (nor did I anymore,who says in this day and age it must be the man). I lived in a cute house with no love, no compassion or truly caring for that person you are with, so does a "house" = happiness no. But a "home" regardless of whether you own it or not = happiness yes...come feel it in our home.

Does it concern you too that he doesn't have the best paying job.  I had a husband who made decent money with a decent pension plan.. did money and a pension plan = happiness no.  Do I now have a husband who walk through the door and like the first time I saw him walk through it make my heart sing  = happiness it sure does and that is a feeling no amount of money or preconceived security in one's future can buy.

A list of little things that money and owning a house can't buy but makes me fall in love with my husband more and more each day:

From our past before we were married:

• When out with friends you always walked as slow as I did before I knew why I could not keep up with everyone and never made me feel like I was holding you up like my ex did.
• Trying to visit me when we were still just friends in the ICU (I told you after we were together, you could have said you were my husband as mine only came to visit me once, even on the day they told me my sister had passed away...when I question this, my ex said "I had enough family with me, and didn't feel he needed to be there too"...Chris I know would have never left my side)
• Being there for me on the day my dad passed away when I needed someone to talk to and my ex-husband told me we could talk after he was finished at work. You were on your way to work but offered to come and be with me. 

Today now that we are married:

• Allowing me to be the real me
• Listening when I talk about good or bad things happening in my life
• Holding my hand through all my tests that can be frightening if I was going it alone
• Allowing me to cry, as you hold me
• Allowing me to try and do things that both of us know I will regret trying to do as my body betrays me
• Watching my muscles twist causing me excruciating pain and telling me you wish you could take on my pain instead of watching me endure it
• Laughing with me when I told you I explained to our neighbours that you were not beating me when they hear me scream out in pain or frustration (I had a neighbour once ask me if everything was alright at home) 
• Helping me walk on the days I suddenly can't
• Helping me get dressed on the days I suddenly can't  
• Making me laugh through the tears and frustrations of this disease
• Loving my mom like she was your own...and I in turn love your mom the same
• Not laughing at me every time we drive pass the cemetery and I wave hello to my dad when we don't stop, and if I decide that day to stop when we are on the way somewhere allowing me to do so.

When should I stop....never and like the chorus to one of the songs that always make me smile when we sing it to each other:
You're my girl
I'm your man
I don't care if we live in a garbage can
I'm your man
You're my gal
I'm so glad that we are pals.
(Red Sweater by The Aquabats)

To answer the question posed years ago to me when I fell for my best friend I think you now know the answer. See we could live anywhere and have the biggest and grandest house and as much money as there was in this world...that would not = the happiness, love, compassion and caring I now have in my life....material things can vanish in a blink of an eye...but the beauty of a person's soul never leaves until their last breath is drawn...that to me is what makes any marriage perfect, especially ours.