I started physiotherapy again this time with a private
instructor versus the long wait list to see the ones that are covered by our
healthcare system and if you read my blog last year after my second time of
going to see him he said he could not
help me. On Tuesday I went to physiotherapy for the fourth time. The first few sessions were with the same
fellow who worked great with me and did not push me too far. Tuesday was a total opposite experience which
I am still paying for today, my drill sergeant as I will now call this person
who I think is use to working with people who are healthy and can do boot camp
training. You know the healthy ones that
make you feel like you are in the military and they are training you and
pushing you to your limit and beyond, is who I have the pleasure of working
with for this session.
I still get that feeling with some in the medical field that
if I just try harder and push myself I will get better. And the sad thing is in my mind I so want to
believe this to be true that I push myself far beyond my limit. And unfortunately or fortunately (depending
on how one looks at it) I don't know how
I drove myself home nor could I get out
of bed the next day without my husband's helping me I was so rigid.
Nor can I move very well today.
So tell me again drill sergeant of Tuesdays session how you helped me?
Which gets me thinking again why do I feel this way. Well one reason is yes I am over weight so
that weighs on my mind (no pun intended), but I could be 100 pounds and still
not be able to push myself like I could even three years ago and then I was heavier then I am now. Our society needs to stop and really listen
to people and who knows ourselves better then ourselves. We also need to stop judging people by appearances
and sadly in our society too much empathize is based on appearance alone. Life is much deeper and people need to dig
deeper then the physical appearance of others. Remember the
old saying never judge a book by its cover it's what's inside that truly counts
and I am happy to say I am one of those people. For those of you that don't you are missing
a lot of getting to know some of the greatest people who can pass into your life and I feel sorry for you. Sorry for going off topic for a moment.
Back even three years ago the movements they have me do I
could have done for hours and not given it a second thought. When I told her that some days I can do 6 - 8
reps of the gait movements and some days I am lucky if I can do 3 - 4 reps she said
I need to try harder and do a minimum of 8 each day or I will not get any benefit from
them trying to help me. I asked her if
she looked up anything on my condition and she said yes. Okay then quit acting like my drill sergeant,
it's not going to happen.
Before we
continued she asked if I watched the recommended video's from my last session
which the one was no longer on Netflix and the other I said I had watch the day
before, this too got her holier than thou attitude to come out and she said
"so you decided to watch it just before you came, so you would not get in
trouble for not doing so". Which I
replied well I could have watch it this morning would that have made a
difference or I could have not have watched it all. Which would you have preferred? What am I a 12 year old child or an adult close to 50 who can decide when they want to do something I did not know I was to run home the week before and watch it immediately that was not on my list! I am so tired of others who think that by being a bully or having that type of attitude is the way into shaming one into feeling that what I did was wrong. And I am sorry as a person who
is to be a professional you should have just been pleased that I had watched
them at all. Again drill sergeant, I should have yelled YES Ma'am and stood at attention I guess! I was so ready to walk out at this point,
but persevered.
Before we began my gait movements I also explained to her
that the day before I had to use my walker in my own home as I was having
trouble walking but yet today I only needed my cane, which again caused my
drill sergeant to look at me like I was making up a story that she could not
quite understand. Welcome to my world I
wanted to shout but just smiled sweetly, this is my life from day to day.
We covered doing the original movements that I have been
doing as best I could. but because I was already stressed I was having difficulty
doing what I thought I was starting to do so well. Then she added another one which I can do a
bit but then came the next one she wanted me to add. She shows me what she wanted me to do. I said
there was no way I thought I could do it, she said come on try you have two of
us on either side and we will be your support on either side should you need
it. As I did down I went which I feared
would happen. She then and I unwilling
to give up tried one more time with the same face plant fall as the first. So much for the support they were giving
me! As they helped me back up and got me
to a chair my entire system went into stress mode and the spasms started she
said oh well I guess we will leave that for now but you will get there. Now I am not a quitter but really do you
think someone who has a neurological problem that can cause violent attacks and
cause one to fall face first into the ground really want to try that ever
again? Give your head a shake.
Although my 1./2 hour session was over I told her I had to
wait until the extra medication I always carry with me kicks in I cannot move,
she actually seemed annoyed with me that I was taking up more of her time.
Finally after sitting for a while and we slowly made our way
to the reception desk so I could pay for my torture session, she said to me I
think we will let J.F. continue working with you. Really do you think I would not have made
that decision myself.
Lesson learned if you are not getting the treatment, help
and respect when paying for any type of service find someone with compassion
and empathy and stick with them. I know
I will from now on.
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