Having not been out of the house for the past few weeks I wake up in the morning with anticipation hoping that my body will allow me a few hours of being able to leave the confines of my home. My first two hours in the morning are spent with a heat pad on my neck and shoulders which have stiffened so bad in the night that should I not heat them, the intense pain from any little movement sends my body into spasms overdrive. Then I move it down to my back to loosen up the back muscles to be able to walk as best I can. After that I take a shower and get dressed before my husband leaves for work so he can help me get ready for the day. (Lucky for me and thanks to an understanding work place they allow him to start at 11AM so he can help me get set-up for the day as I am alone until he comes home from work to help me, once again.) I am having a good morning which means yeah I can leave the house for a few hours to attend said BBQ. I text my friend and tell her I am on my way.
When I arrive it is already busy and I spend a little longer then I hoped trying to find a parking space which would not require a long walk because the further and longer I walk the more my muscles will start to stiffen and walking becomes harder and harder to do. I park and as I am walking towards where I had spotted my girlfriend and her co-workers sitting, I run into a co-worker from my office. She comes flying at my all excited as fear clutches my body I brace myself for her exuberance in seeing me, she throws her arms around me clutching me in a hug that is starting to send my system into shock waves as I move away and try and not lose my balance as she lets go. She steps back and says how wonderful it is to see me and how great I look. I also get the standard "I've been meaning to call you to see how you are but you know how it is, but I promise once it starts to slow down I will call you". Yes sure do... and my friends/family who do read this please stop doing this at least to me...nothing drives me round the bend more then the promise of a call or visit when you and I both know you have no intention of making good on that promise. If you find yourself getting ready to make this statement please stop and say to yourself am I about to make this statement for my benefit or to make Heather feel better, because it doesn't. If you don't know what else to say, stop after saying it was great seeing you and I will not think any less of you. After the exchange of empty promises she says she wishes she had time to talk but has to head back to the office. No worries I didn't come to see you if you want honesty hehe, if that was the case of why I was there I would go to the office if I wanted to see my co-workers not a BBQ being put on by another company.
Had a quick bite with my girlfriend and her co-workers, say hello to a few other people and leave. This outing lasted two hours including driving time but to anyone who is ill this was like running a marathon both physically and mentally. Once home I take a nap because I am so drained, having used all my energy to look and act as normal as possible in front of people.
Now the prospective part of that short encounter with my co-worker. On Sunday I get a call from my only co-worker who does call to see how I am on a regular bases. She laughing as she says to me "I hear you look great and may be coming back to work soon?" Excuse me? Well a few co-workers saw you at the BBQ and said you looked good so they thought you might be coming back to work soon. So based on a two minute encounter I am well enough to go back to work your telling me? Yes, she said still laughing...boy you must be thrilled. I did explain that a person who is sick can have some good moments or days but those times are few and far between. "Thanks" I tell her for saying that, especially when I decided at 11AM that I would be able to go to the BBQ that started at 1130AM, that is how last minute I was able to decide if I could go or not.
So here is my reality of that outing I started with telling you how my day starts each and every day. As I walked to the table where my girlfriend and co-workers were I had to grab the nearest arm of a person I did not know as I was starting to fall over to catch my balance. My girlfriend grabbed my lunch so I would not have trouble and could just sit and enjoy the company. She then drove me the short distance after lunch to my car because of the stimulation of the situation was starting to cause my body to go into muscle spasms, and I sat in my car until my muscles calmed down enough to drive myself home. I had not left my house in weeks besides a doctor's appointment which finally I am told they are getting me into the Movement Disorder Clinic but the appointment is not until October. Should they not be able to help me my doctor is thinking of sending me to the Mayo Clinic to get properly diagnosed. And then I spent the rest of the day sleeping because a two hour outing did me in.
But no worries I tell my friend, I look so good..... I'll be into work bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment